By Michelle Kunz
- A recent graduate’s review of Jen Sincero’s, “You are a Badass” -
I always knew that graduating college was going to be a weird feeling, especially combined with the fact that I did it early. As a freshly graduated college student, I couldn’t help but experience this overwhelming feeling of “What now?” Sure, I have a full-time job lined up and vacation time void of any commitments (finally!), but being the overachiever I am I knew I was going to struggle with just relaxing for two and a half months doing virtually nothing. During this time, I came up with the idea that starting with the New Year, I was going to read at least one book a month, completely by choice. After all, they don’t just claim that the world’s top readers read four to five books a month for nothing.
With that, my first book of choice was one that had been sitting on my shelves for a good six months called “You are a Badass.” Not only did the title intrigue me with a persuasive claim that it would show me “how to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life,” but reading the introduction was like looking in the mirror and watching myself read the book out loud. It was written exactly how I speak; I was sold.
Having finished the book now, I wanted to share my top three takeaways from the variety of lessons this book has now instilled in me. These definitely doesn't sum up the entire book, but will hopefully give you a taste of what the 27 bite-size chapters look and sound like.
1. Getting to the Root of the Problem
I know I don’t speak for myself when I say that hitting your twenties is almost like hitting a mid-life crisis. There is an unforeseen pressure from our parents, peers, and society as a whole to not only have our life together, but to have everything else that we want in the future, all figured out. I knew that if I wanted to start this new and exciting part of my life, I first would have to overcome the things that might be holding me back from doing so. The author, Jen Sincero, announces in the first chapter of her book how most of our beliefs and preconceived notions are rooted deeply in our subconscious mind, and are often things we have no control over receiving and planting there. However, this doesn’t mean we have an automatic excuse for not addressing them head on. The first step to accomplishing this, is to become aware of these limiting subconscious beliefs. This is because if you’re not aware of them, you’ll keep working with your conscious mind to solve a problem that’s really buried even farther beneath the surface in your sub-conscience. In fact, the way Sincero describes it is as if you’re unable to enjoy sitting on your front porch anymore because of a foul smell. While there are temporary ways to solve the problem like setting up fans, blaming the dog, lighting incense, etc. Until you realize that something has crawled under your house and died, your problem is going to continue on, stinking up your life.
2. Raise Your Frequency
Those familiar with the Law of Attraction will already be acquainted with this phenomenon, but for those who’ve never heard of it, this takeaway might just change your life. No matter your religious beliefs, it is still a fact that the universe is made up of constant energy that is infinitely in cycles of interaction and flow around other energy. Now keep in mind that whatever your chosen belief system and what you call the higher power in your life: “God, Goddess, The Big Guy, Spirit, The Force, The Mother Lode;” it’s important to acknowledge that in some form it does in fact exist. In the book, this presence of energy is referred to as “Source Energy,” but what it really highlights is the fact that each and every one of us has interactions with it. In fact, you can think of your specific energy in terms of frequencies; one that is as unique to you as your fingerprint. Whenever you feel stuck in your current state, doubtful of where your future is going, unable to achieve happiness, whatever it is that’s holding you back, you are operating at low levels of frequency. What this eventually does then, is it signals to the Universe that you are not operating at a high frequency (where all of the magic happens). Therefore, you are telling it you are not ready to change your frequency to reap the rewards of the life you actually want and already have (stick with me on this until the next takeaway). So, in order to really be successful in achieving the things you ultimately desire, you first need to raise your frequency to the levels where these changes are actually happening.
3. Everything You Want is Already Yours
When I first read this statement, I felt like Chandler on the first episode of “Friends” declaring, “And I just want a million dollars!” after Rachel walks into the coffee shop following Ross’ verbal wish to be married again. I thought, okay sure, because the reason I want everything that I do is because I already have it, right? Hear me out. One of my favorite statements by Sincero in the book is when she says “Your job isn’t to know the how, it’s to know the what and to be open to discovering, and receiving, the how.” Because when you think of it, if you already knew the “how,” then wouldn’t you have it already? The reason, she says, is because “You must keep your frequency high and your belief in limitless possibility strong to manifest your dreams and goals. When you level up your idea of what is possible, and decide to really go for it, you open yourself up to the means to accomplish it as well.” In other words, in order to receive and live the life you truly want, you have to already be thankful and filled with gratitude for it, without actually having it. Mind blown.
While this might sound crazy at first glance, it does a good job of highlighting the relationship Sincero harps on between gratitude and faith. Gratitude, by definition, is the emotion we express when we have appreciation for something that we already have, and is an affirmation of goodness to ourselves about the gifts and benefits we have received. In comparison, faith is the complete trust and confidence in someone or something without any proof of evidence to be so. Therefore, the way these two concepts work together in the Universe is by one having such strong faith in their future manifestation that they are already grateful, or filled with gratitude, for what they have yet to receive. Because in their mind, they already have it. Personally, in my own life, I have experienced the power of gratitude for the un-received while I was searching for my full-time job last semester. I had no physical proof that I would land the exact job I wanted, in the exact city I dreamed of working in, and receive an offer at the exact time of my preference. However, every day throughout my search, in my head I would visually articulate all the things I wanted in a career and then spend every hour of my search then manifesting what it is I truly wanted. Most importantly though, I never gave up faith, and was constantly filled with gratitude over the opportunity to be in such a position to apply to my various “dream jobs.” Then precisely two and a half months later, my manifestation came full circle and I received and accepted my offer.
Oh, and one more thing. After making it through the entirety of this book, it quickly became clear what Sincero’s underlying key to living an awesome life was: to love yourself. Because when it comes down to really being able to make an active change for the better in your life, you first have to love the badass within yourself that you already are and will continue to become. Now go get’em!
Michelle Kunz, a member of FLA Class XII, graduated in December 2017 with her B.S. in Marketing. Michelle will be joining Macy's in New York City in their Executive Development Program later this year. Feel free to contact her at firstname.lastname@example.org .